My Journey Through WLS

My Story...


Me at 332lbs


Where shall I begin...I have been overweight since I can remember, which dates back till I was 3 years old, I remember having a little yellow bikini with black polka dots on it. That was the last time I remember before having to battle the overweight life.

High school was typical I had my friends but I also had alot of those people who were thin and thought obese people were disgusting, I admit there was a point I found myself disgusting. So, I dieted...for months and months I lived off one meal and water..I got down to 190lbs my junior year in high school which is not thin but it was thinner then I had been.

Slowly though I gained it all back and then some, when I was 20 years old the day I delivered my son I as 299 lbs. I as mortified being so big...But I did nothing and kept gaining...more and more...After I broke 300 before I was 23 I knew I had to do something I dieted again...lost 10-15 lbs and put it all back on...This was ridiculous!

Finally, at 25 years old I weighed in at 330lbs at 5'8" tall...I was out of control I knew I needed to get myself back...So I began looking into WLS...after Youtube, and google, and all those other places. I decided this past January I was doing it. I began the process.

I ended up losing 12 lbs on the pre-op liquid diet which I as happy. I had my roux-en-y gastric bypass done on July 26, 2010 by Dr Miro Uchal down in Pittsburgh, Pa. He was wonderful. I am now at 317lbs which is still going down but I am also only a few days post-op.

I will take this tool Dr Uchal & God blessed me with and use it to FINALLY get my life back!



Food Finally! (8/16/10)

Well, on Friday the liquid diet became WAY too much for me and I started eating food. I know I know I should wait and follow my Dr's orders and whatever...but you know what I have so much more energy now and I am more willing to go out and walk or do things. I don't eat alot I keep it right about 2TBSP per meal of whatever I am eating and I mark down EVERYTHING calories, fat, protein, carbs, sugars, etc.

It feels so good to eat food, although I will say a few things about it...

#1 I am definitely still learning what it feels like to feel full with my tiny belly...I have certainly eaten too much at times and feel the pain afterwards but it is a learning process, so I now only take 2TBSP per meal.

#2. I am so guilty of drinking while eating and I know how wrong that is. I am slowly trying to get over that and not drink 30 mins before or after my meal.

#3. Head hunger is HORRIBLE I begged my husband tonight for a bite of his South Side Sub...and I knew it was not on the "to eat" list and I had JUST eaten dinner, I was not hungry but I wanted a bite of that damn sub, and you know what he told me..."NO" just like a great support person to any addict trying to overcome their addiction, he told me I could not have a bite that it was not a good idea. You know what I did...Pouted like a 3 year old! But I did get over it once I realized he was completely right, I went and appologized and thanked him for being strong when I was weak.

This is not going to be easy and I realize that more then ever now, but if I can stop smoking cold turkey I can overcome my addiction to food.

I do meet with the surgeon on Tuesday for my first follow up appointment and I am nervous...That is the other thing I wanted to say... Now that I am eating food, I keep feeling like I will overeat and gain all my weight back plus some again...It is a constant fear in my mind, I never want to be fat again, not that I am skinny but I never want to be 332lbs again, I am liking the 295lbs and I know I will love the 150lbs that will be soon to come.

I signed my family up for a membership at the YMCA yesterday and I plan on going daily even for 30 mins I need to exercise, and with school starting and winter coming I will need to do it indoors, I assume. I am actually very excited. I only lost 36 lbs so far but I feel more comfortable doing things on my own, before I would go nowhere without my husband but today at the bookstore I went and sat beside some older gentleman and read my book while my husband went and looked around.

This new life I have been blessed to have is going to be wonderful! I can't wait to start living it...Well I suppose I am 3 weeks into it by now. Haha. Life is great once again and will only get better!



3 Weeks Post Op 08/16/10 

Well here it is 3 weeks out from surgery and I weigh 295 which is a total loss of 36lbs since I began this journey. Tonight my husband and I went to the YMCA, I swam for about 15 minutes and then rode the exercise bike for another 15 minutes. I must say my body physically felt like I wanted to do more, but my insides felt weird.

I actually thought I was going to be sick, but I ate a 1/2 of an egg salad sandwich for dinner which made me feel much better. I think I was just burning more calories then I had inside me. Haha I figured out my totals for the day and I had 490 calories total today, give or take one or two.

I was upset by this until I realized that 490 calories for a day is nothing compared to the 3000+ I used to eat or the 1500 you are allowed to maintain a healthy weight. I suppose this whole thing takes getting used to. I am so afraid of gaining weight or failing this time.

It has been hard all my life diets work diets fail up and down and back up again is all it's ever been and I guess I am just waiting for the day when I go back up again..Kinda like the saying "If it's too good to be true it normally is" well that's kinda how I feel about this. Except I do understand that this is simply a tool and I still must work to achieve my goals. Which will happen..in time.
 



A New Web Cam & Some News...


Well, finally after about a week of going between 296-294lbs and couldn't get down any further...Well, today I woke up and weighted myself this morning and am now down to 293 lbs! So I broke that damn plateau. Woohoo!

We went last night swimming again, I swam a good 30 mins. I felt amazing, my entire body tingled it was the best feeling. I wanted to keep on working out. Haha but it was too late.

I put on my normal pair of jeans this morning...they are a size 30W, and they are big on me...I ended up trying on a belt just for the heck of it, and it fit...The belt is a size 30W as well but I have it buckled a little tighter and so my pants feel more...stable. Haha I can't believe I am wearing a belt. I have not worn a belt since before I got pregnant with my son who is now 5 1/2 years old.

It's such a good feeling to be able to do things or wear things I haven't had on or done in years!

Well, that about sums up this portion. Haha the day is still young though I can't promise I won't be back later.



Head Hunger Issues...


I have been having a lot of head hunger lately...I sit at the computer to work and want food...something to snack on...and I know I am not hungry because I don't feel it and because I just ate breakfast. Although breakfast wasn't the healthiest...I had..

4 - Low Sodium Ritz crackers w/ a thin smear of all natural peanut butter
8 oz glass of milk

It did fill me up, I am not a big breakfast person...I don't usually do eggs and such but I think I will have to start, there is so much more protein in an egg then in 1 TBSP of peanut butter. This learning how to eat healthy is hard...but I am not giving up by any means.

I am hovering between 295 and 293 this week...I think I need to up my exercise, I have been doing 90mins of swimming everyday and I think I am going to throw the treadmill in there as well...

But back to this head hunger, I got this book from a good friend, Vikki..."Emotional first aid kit - a practical guide for life after wls" it talks about positive and negative self talk, what to do in situations where there is food...how to handle stress and all sorts of great topics. But it doesn't take the head hunger away, I am still battleing it. I usually eat snacks at the computer while I work, so I know I have to be on the computer and without the snacks, which is hard.

I keep sipping water but my mind just won't give it up, I have been trying to keep myself busy and it helps a bit but not totally...Does the head hunger ever go away or atleast die down a bit?! I sure hope it does, this is about the point (the 1 month mark) where I always fall off the wagon, but this time I will NOT fall off nor will I cheat. I can do this and I will do this! It is challenging that is for sure but the end result will be much sweeter then anything else in the world!


Another Day & A New Beginning 

So, last night we went to the drive-ins and I actually had some tortilla chips with cheddar cheese, thinking about it then I didn't think it was too awful for me...But waking up today I realized...I screwed up and "cheated"! I feel horrible about it, I wasn't even thinking clearly!

So, I decided to put a rubber band on my wrist...anytime food comes into my mind and I am not hungry I am going to snap my rubber band, kinda like a wake up you idiot you are not going to ruin this "diet" you need to change your brain patterns! And that is what I shall do.

It is harder then I thought, I guess part of me was like this is the easy way out, I will have surgery and just automatically loose the weight and be skinnier and whatnot...Well, I was seriously mistaken, this is no way the easy way out...first you have a surgery which is major, then you have the emotional part to over come, the mental part to over come, it is a serious life change and it is hard!

It will take time and I realize this...I just am ready to be a better me, I did 10 minutes on the treadmill yesterday, sweating like a pig and I felt wonderful afterwards...like I accomplished something grand! BTW That was the first time I had ever been on a treadmill. Which for the first time made me proud that I pushed and did 10 mins. And another thing...10 mins on the treadmill is NOTHING compared to 10 minutes of plain walking.

Plain walking is so much more lower impact then the treadmill at least in my opinion. But I now have decided to do the treadmill 15-30 minutes each day and then the days the pool is open swimming for 90 minutes minimum, since my son goes and I have to take breaks to help him and such.

This is a new day, my eyes are open, my brain will not overcome me today! I am in control of my brain as well as my body!



Lauren's Hope Medical ID Bracelets


 


Alot of people who have medical problems or wls need to have on them a medical alert piece of jewelry at all times, little do they realize though they can have a stylish one. This site Lauren's Hope makes beautiful bracelets, necklaces, and all sorts of things...all of which are used as medical alert items. I love this site! If you get a chance please check it out.


Being Held Accountable



So, a friend of mine..."bandedwendy" had always been so proud to be a sweaty bitch and I never knew why until now. Today I did 15 minutes on the treadmill, a even jogged a few steps. I was so sweaty that this picture doesn't even capture it!

I feel absolutely amazing, like I worked my body enough to burn some calories and make a difference. I am going to be posting each time I work out with a pic well the pic will be a possibility, that way I can be held accountable for it.

Accountability is crucial when it comes to weight loss, if we have noone to answer too, cheating becomes too easy and I have come to far to cheat now! It is a new day and the time to begin anew. This is my new life!

"I am in control, not food"

"I eat to live and no longer live to eat!"

Lauren's Hope - Medical Alert Jewelry


2 Days Away From My 1 Month Surgiversary (8/24/10)

That's right here I am only 2 days away from my one month surgiversary and I have lost 39lbs and holding! Literally! I mean for the past 2 weeks I have been between 293-295 and it's so frustrating. I wish I could loose some more before Thursday.

My treadmill belt broke yesterday so I had to order a new one, and am totally bummed that I haven't been able to work out on the treadmill for the past 2 days. But I had it shipped through FedEx so it should be here between 1-3 days, I hope! I just checked and it should be here tomorrow! I can't wait so it only took 2 days then, well on the 2nd day it came that is if it comes tomorrow!

I hope tomorrow brings a loss, so that I can start to feel better, right now I feel like such a failure like I am falling off the wagon and will never reach my goal, like I am failing this "diet" even though I have been trying very hard and have been staying on track. UGH so frustrated.

If you haven't checked out Lauren's Hope - Medical Alert Jewelry please do so, it's a great little site with tons to offer!



1 Month Surgiversary (8/26/10)

Well, today is August 26th. One month ago today I would be just coming out of recovery. It is amazing how quick this month went. It seems like I was just entering the OR  and here I am on my own and learning how to redo things.

Sometimes I still feel like a child having to relearn how to think, eat, act, exercise, and be. It is definitely a trying journey but one I would do over again if I had to. I would not trade this gift for anything. 

I have lost a total of 39lbs in this one month but gained 2 lbs back, for a total loss of 37lbs which is ok with me, I am so sick of the plateau but thanks to Rosemary I realize my body may just be catching up and still healing from the rearranging that went on, just a month ago.

I will reach my goal of 140-150 in time and at my own pace, a pace which is all mine and good for me. I compare myself to other's journey and that is where I get upset, they are their own person and I am my own person. We all loose at different rates and we all react differently to the surgery.

As long as I stay on track and be smart and exercise my goals will be within reach soon enough! 

I did do 30 minutes on the treadmill last night, at a 5.5% incline and a speed of 2.9 MPH, I got my heart rate up to 185 and worked really hard, I was a sweaty bitch by time I was done, my legs were Jell-o but I felt amazing! I then went swimming for about 30-40 minutes as well. I was so tired last night but it was all worth it! 

I was very proud of myself, I walked 1.25 miles I was going for the "couch to 5K" but I was unable to finish, but I am still proud of myself for doing what I did.

Tonight, I will go back to the gym and I will power walk for my 30 minutes and then enjoy the pool for another 30 minutes and be content that I know that I worked out hard today!

Lauren's Hope - Medical Alert Jewelry


What A Day...What A Day...

I had a complete break down today, I got yet another bill from the hospital where I had my surgery. This one was for $891.09 and the previous was for $1,309.90. I am expected to pay both bills and this is after I had already paid over $3,000 before surgery!

So I cried and cried, wondering what the hell to do, I even made a YouTube video and got alot of responses from my wonderful friends. Monday I am going to call and ask the insurance company what is up with these bills. I think it has something to do with this "investigation" they are doing to see if I had a pre-existing condition before I was picked up by this new insurance.

Once my husband and I got married I was switched to this new insurance AFTER I was guaranteed things would work out and be ok and there would be no complications when it came to getting my WLS...Which is true they approved it and everything went smoothly but now they are wanting to know about my previous insurance and whatnot...I don't understand but I gave them everything I could and we shall see what happens now.

I do have some good news I went back down to 293!! Woohoo, so I lost a total of 39lbs again! Haha I have been at the gym every night for almost 2 weeks, the past 2 days I do 30 minutes high impact on the treadmill and swim 200 meters or more. My treadmill at home the walking belt went so I had to order a new one, well I ordered the wrong size, whew thank heavens they are shipping me out the correct size with no more money from me.

So, tomorrow I might go to the gym in the a.m and just do the 30 on the treadmill cause we are going to a picnic at the neighbor's parents house all day tomorrow, and then on Sunday we are meeting Grandma Janet at Lakemont park to spend the day, so this weekend will be jam packed!

We did go bowling tonight, the first game I scored 133 points! I know totally crazy I did completely suck the second game though. Haha what can I expect, right?! Well, I have been trying to drink more then I eat now...not a full liquid diet but close to it, which is why I think I lost those 2 lbs to bring me back to 293 lbs.

Well, I suppose I should be done ranting, raving, and whining. Haha



A New Day Has Dawn & I Am Enjoying Life...





I woke up today...still standing strong at 293 thank heavens! I did go to the gym all by myself today to work out. I busted ass on the treadmill...Incline 6.0, Speed 2.9, Length 30 minutes, Average heart rate 180. I must say I took Friday off to go bowling and today was rough, I had to seriously push myself to make it to the 30 minutes and not stop at the 10 like my mind tried to tell me to!

I pushed on and let me tell you I burned 400 calories and felt amazing afterwards! I came home and got a shower and did my hair and makeup for the picnic we went to today, I had no clue what to wear...So I settled on my recently fits 3X neutral colored tank top and a little shrug, also a 3X...but that left me with a need of pants...Hmmm jeans and a belt or capris, well I have this one pair of jean capris, but they are a size 26 and I knew they wouldn't fit, but for fun I tried them...THEY FIT! I wore them! There was no other choice after that moment.

It felt great, I bought these capris last year before we went to the beach, and they were "Suck in the gut by laying on the bed, then have the flab hang over the edge" type of capris back then, now today they were a tad bit snug but nothing uncomfortable! I was so freaking happy, I went to the spare room in only my capris and stood in the doorway with this shit eating grin on my face. My husband looked up and was like "what the hell is wrong with you?!" Yea not the reaction I had hoped for but I suppose the capris didn't excite everyone like they did me, so I had to tell him about them, then he smiled and said great, good for you and went about his work on the laptop...Ugh men you have to love them...sometimes. LoL

So, today all in all has been great work is picking up finally, and I talked to Trena, I went to a picnic and ate some yummy food...Not too much just enough. I did cheat today and had 6-10 goldfish crackers dipped in sour cream, but I controlled my urge to binge and only had 6-10 which I was happy and proud of. I have realized that there will be times I cheat, but knowing when to stop and say enough is the key, not to binge and over eat is key, and to cheat with a semi healthy snack is key!

I haven't been keeping track of my intake for food or water the past 2 days, which by some strange reason is making me more aware of what I eat, I have heard that counting calories and keeping track helps keep you on the path, but I have also heard that it makes you consume more then if you didn't keep track, so I am testing the theories.

But you know what..."Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!" and with that I am heading to work to try and make a few more bucks tonight before bed time. Hope ya'll who read are having a nice week.


5 Week Post Op....1 Day Early... (8/30/10)

This is me at 290lbs!


I wanted to make an update video tonight, and when I tried to upload it...it won't upload...finicky little piece of crap! Well, anyways for those who read my blog I will share the news with you.

You know how I mentioned I have been 293 for 2 days now...Well, I woke up this morning and again weighed myself, yes I am a daily weigher, and the scale read 290! Which is a total loss of 42lbs I was freaking excited!

Even though the gym was closed today I did still work out, we went to Lakemont park with Landon's grandma and we walked and sweated, Ryan, Landon and I even took a 15 minute paddle boat ride...Which let me tell you...IS A TOTAL LEG WORKOUT! But I felt awesome afterwards, I even rode rides today which I normally don't do cause I never fit in them.

School starts tomorrow and it almost seems unreal...I am going to be a student full time in just a few short hours. Wow, it is super exciting and yet terrifying as well. Oh well this will better me for me and for my family.


My Appology...

 


The Good, The Bad, & Then There Is This Past Week...


My back hurts, my house is dirty, my dogs got fixed, my litter boxes need changed, the rugs need vacuumed, I am tired, I feel nauseated ALL the time, my legs hurt from working out, and I  missed the gym today!

Plus, there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to complete all the things I need to complete! I am so frustrated! I guess it's just all catching up with me. School if going really good though, I like it alot and really think that if I apply myself I can and will make it through and become an RN.

Ok, so anyways...Monday marked week 5 post op...I weighed in at 290lbs which was a loss of 42lbs lost total, and that was awesome I was so glad, then I weighed in this morning at 289lbs which is a loss of 43 lbs total! Even better!

I have been at the gym almost everyday for 2 weeks straight now, I do the treadmill and yesterday I lifted weights...nothing major just a little.

I am just so sick of being sick! It seems all I am anymore is nauseous all the time, every time I eat, don't eat...The only thing that doesn't make me sick is drinking! I just feel like I should curl up in the corner and cry! It's horrible. I hate being sick, I hate not working out, I hate my house being nasty, I hate having over $3,000 in hospital bills from this fucking surgery! I am just sick of it all! Makes me wanna just do what I do now and never better myself. But I know that is just my emotions talking and it isn't true!

So, anyways...School is going good, got some homework and shite to do, papers to write and lectures to watch but it is good, I really enjoy being back in school. Thanks for listening to me bitch and moan like a little baby.

6 Week Post Op (09/2010)





Helllllooo there! It's been forever I know and I do apologize for that! Things that have been happening...Well, I weighed myself on the 4th and was down to 285 lbs which is a total loss so far of 47lbs! Woot Go me! Haha

I also fit into a size 26 jeans, which has not happened in...ummm...oh I dunno...2 years maybe! Like OMG! :-)

I have a belt which is too  big to wear now, I tried to wear it yesterday for our picnic and I ran out of holes, my husband told me he could make me some more but I opted to get rid of the belt instead and use a smaller one which I had in the closet. So freaking exciting, I don't think ANYTHING has ever been too big on me before!

My boobs are deflating!!!!! I noticed it the other day I was kinda sad but then excited too, cause they were too big to begin with! Haha.

School started last Monday and has been keeping me super busy, but I like it so far. I just hope I have what it takes to make it through.


I quit my job at this one company I was working for cause they tried to decrease my pay, and I began working for a new company. It's a little less pay but more bonus opportunities so I could actually end up making more every 2 weeks then I did every week at the previous job. So, it's a big change but a good one...I hope.

Let's see what else...Sorry to be so quick about this but I have to work and get my Psych homework done yet today...ooohh yea I am adopting 2 kittens, they were in a house fire and have noone to love them, they are brother and sister. I will post pics when they come home tomorrow night with me. They are adorable...But now I need names...

So, once the two new arrivals come that brings the pet count up to...*drum roll* 6 cats, 2 dogs, 1 tortoise, and 1 fish. Haha I love my hectic crazy life! I would not have it any other way.

Well, I think that is all I wanted to say...so I will be off now but will talk to you guys soon...I promise! 

If you haven't already check out Lauren's Hope

   Before - @ 332lbs


 1 Month Post-Op - @ 290lbs


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